Thursday, September 17, 2009

"Return to Summer"

This was an immediate response challenge to "End of Summer." The "Return to Summer" challenge required the use of the following words: Sunshine, Watermelon, Ants, Warmth, Hamburgers, Hotdogs, Grill, Fris-bee, Grassy Field, Checkered Table Cloth, Fireworks, Cold Beer, A Hungry Dog. Of course, I couldn't help but modify them in my own special way.

"Hello, everyone, and welcome to the 2009 Fantasy Writing Group Summer Talent Show. With Ima Sidekick, I'm your host, Needa Betterjob. This year's show is sponsored by Tony R. 'Tony R., Someone's Choice for Pun-Filled Entertainment.'

"What's new at this year's show, Ima?"

"The choice of venues this year was a little surprising, Needa. Seems the Hungary Dogs had their MLB license revoked last week after publicly mocking the Commissioner by burning him in effigy in the dugout. It didn't help that the entire pitching staff got trapped behind the blaze and is now in intensive care."

"Ouch! Those are some hot Dogs, Ima."

"True, Needa. Turns out the team owner did it intentionally in order to win a bet."

"Did he win?"

"So I'm told, Needa."

"Well, there you have it folks. If you need to win a bet, fire works."

"Anyway, with the Dogs out, Grassy Field became an open venue and the Fantasy Writing Group snapped it up."

"It looks like the festivities are ready to start, Ima. What's this year's theme?"

"Warmth. People need to display some sort of talent involving things that make them warm and fuzzy."

"Sounds like an easy theme."

"Could be, but the Fantasy Group prefers for things to be outside the traditional box. It should prove interesting."

"Give us an idea of what we can look forward to."

"Well, scanning the entry list there are several that seem promising. The pigs should be entertaining."


"Yes, these particular pigs are legal residents of a borough."

"What does that make them?"

"Ham burghers."

"I see."

"It gets better Needa. There's a soldier bee from the hive down the road that's managed to grow quite an afro."

"What's his name?"

"Frizz Bee. And he's not alone. Hundreds of his aunts have shown up to watch him compete. And its rumored the Queen Bee herself will make an appearance to watch her son shine."

"That would be exciting. What else stands out for you?"

"There are some naiads on the list."

"What are those?"

"River spirits. There is some controversy over having them on the program, though, Needa."

"How's that?"

"Well, naiads don't wear clothes and these are rumored to be very well endowed."

"You mean they have large water melons?"

"Ahem. I wouldn't have put it that way, but...."

"Perhaps a safer entry?"

"How about a sculpture? One enterprising young fellow crafted a chrome golem entirely out of grills from '57 Chevys."

"That should be interesting."

"Then there's America's answer to the flying carpet."

"What's that, Ima? A jet powered Hoover?"

"Nothing so mechanical. We've already got Hot Dogs, baseball and Chevrolet. Outside of those, what could be more American than the flying checkered table cloth?"

"Apple pie."

"Hah. Got me there, Needa."

"Well, it looks like they're ready to start down on the field. Count Dracula is our MC this year and I'm told he's getting into the American theme, too. Foregoing his traditional coffin this year, the Count is entering the field in...some kind of stone box trailing wisps of some kind of mist. What is that, Ima?"

"I believe it's an iced cold bier."

"And you CAN'T get more American than that."

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